Christian Guidance
and
Acquiring Counsel
A man of understanding
will acquire wise counsel.
Proverbs 1:5
Bob Jennings
According to the Bible, one of the most important steps toward finding the will of God is to acquire wise counsel. Discerning God’s will is an adventure. It is a challenge. But God has given the Christian a real help – the counsel of others.
Every Christian can testify that there was once a time in his life when knowing the will of God meant nothing to him. Before becoming a Christian, we did our own thing and went our own way. But now, having been brought to a place of failure and surrender before the King of kings, we readily acknowledge that without Christ, we “can do nothing” (John 15:5). We have had enough of sin’s hard ways and we say like Paul at conversion, “Lord, what would you have me to do?” The Christian says daily, “Not my will, but Yours be done” (Matthew 26:39). All others are false Christians (Matthew 7:21).
While Christian guidance is a step removed from “Christ and Him crucified”, yet it is a great part of the Christian life – “So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is” (Ephesians 5:17). Many of our songs sweetly express this cry for God’s guidance:
The Importance of Acquiring Counsel
Acquiring counsel must be important. Look! This exhortation to acquire counsel is at the top of the list. It is in the introduction of this book of wisdom called Proverbs.
Second, note the repeated exhortations to acquire counsel. Is there anything more repeated in Proverbs? If we want the mind of the Bible, we had better figure on acquiring counsel.
David and Solomon were wise men, yet they had their Ahithophel and Hushai. Much of Pharaoh’s success was due to Joseph’s good counsel. Israel did well under the counsel of Jehoiada, but after he was gone they apostatized (2 Chronicles 24).
Third, the text says acquiring counsel is a mark of a man of understanding. It seems ironic that a man who has wisdom acquires wisdom. You would think that if you have it, then you don’t need to seek it. So, what is it that this man of understanding understands?
So, it is a “wise man who listens to counsel” (Proverbs 12:15). David acted wisely listening to Abigail. Moses benefited from Jethro’s advice. But pride often gets us into trouble, as it is written, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes” (Proverbs 11:15). Amaziah should have listened to Jehoash (2 Kings 14:8). Godly Josiah should have listened to Pharaoh Neco (2 Chronicles 35:20). David should have listened to ungodly Joab and not numbered the people. Paul did not listen to those who told him “through the Spirit not to set foot in Jerusalem” (Acts 21:4) and it was tough times ahead for him. One brother founded an orphanage in a foreign country and commissioned an overseer. The founder later was concerned about the mission car driver not keeping a record. The overseer argued it was not necessary and simply would not listen. Soon the driver and car were missing. They found the car and the driver in it along with some woman, both naked and dead from asphyxiation.
Of Whom Should We Acquire Counsel?
The text says to acquire wise counsel. If you are going to plant seed, get good seed. If you are going to paint your house, get good paint. If you need a plumber, get a good one. The cheapest is not always the cheapest. Too much is at stake. For example, my family was adding on to our house. The carpenter was going to do the plumbing and we found out he did not know plumbing. He was going to use mere drain pipe for water supply lines (under concrete) which would have broken in no time from the pressure. So, get wise counsel. “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked” (Psalm 1:1). Do you drive to work? Let that be your Bible school by listening to good men, wise counselors. Wise counsel is very precious.
Fears can be melted, chains can be torn off, and the soul can be sweetened by the wise counsel of another.
We should ask someone who is able to admonish, as it is written, “filled with goodness, filled with all knowledge, and able also to admonish” (Rom 15.14). What are some marks of this ability? The company of words in this verse is no accident.
An able counselor is filled with goodness. He is gentle, yet firm. He wants purely your good before God. He has no other motives. He is not handcuffed and afraid to cross you lest he lose you.
He is filled with knowledge. He knows God. He knows the Bible so he can give you the “whole counsel of God” (Acts 20:27). He knows the ways of God. Often it is underlying patterns that are definitive in a case. He knows the ways of the devil and is not ignorant of his schemes (2 Corinthians 2:11). He has had experience. His “senses are exercised to discern both good and evil” (Hebrews 5:13). He knows God enough to be honest and humble, even to admit he is wrong and correct something he said. For example, I asked a carpenter a question, describing the situation. He gave an answer. Then I thought of another factor which I knew was so foundational it would alter the whole thing, but he did not humble himself and retract. An able counselor knows enough to be slow to speak. “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him” (Proverbs 18:13). Nathan the prophet spoke too quickly to David, “Do all that is in your heart, for God is with you” (1 Chronicles 17:2). A good doctor, when treating a case of any importance, will take the time to study the big picture. He will ask for a history of your life. An able counselor knows the importance of a balanced answer. For example, someone asked a man of God about going to a certain denominational seminary. The elder did not say it was an evil school, nor good. He replied accurately, “It is not healthy.” An able counselor knows God enough that he does not have give an answer to everything. I’ve asked men of God how they kept up communion with the Lord. I usually get little. They know I have to wear my own armor.
Of whom should we ask counsel? We should ask counsel of many.
Why “many?” The first one might be wrong. King Jehoshaphat sensed that and said, “Is there not here a prophet of the Lord besides, that we might inquire of him?” (1 Kings 22:7). The first 400 prophets were wrong. In the Jerusalem council Paul gave his input, then Peter, but it was James who had the word. Even in medicine it is considered wise to get a second opinion. In one personal instance, it was the third doctor who had the answer. Is acquiring counselors humanism? Is it looking for help from man? No, it is humility.
Of whom should we ask counsel? Sometimes we should ask our parents, especially if we are under their roof, and yes, even if they are old (Proverbs 23:22). They have years of valuable experience. They can see more easily the big picture. I will never forget a father confiding in me his grief over his son’s engagement – “I don’t know what he sees in that woman.” Yes, the divorce eventually came and with it much pain and loss. I can remember my parents almost begging me for several reasons not depart on a 17 hour trip to Canada. I would not listen and almost died, incurring sickness on the trip and negative 47 degree weather. These things make us think twice. But what if the parents are non-Christians? Admittedly, we must weigh it out. Ahaziah’s mother was “his counselor to do wickedly” (2 Chronicles 22:3). Though we may not be able to take their counsel, yet we can honor them by asking and including them in the decision.
We always do well to ask a Christian brother. Maybe it is easier for him to see the forest, often hidden by the trees. It helps when looking at map in a park to see the arrow saying, “You are here.” So also it helps to have someone who knows you and knows where you are at. Present location is a big factor in getting directions.
Ask your wife. On one occasion, Abraham should not have listened to Sarah. Another time God told him to listen. Pilate should have listened to his wife (Matthew 27:19).
You might talk to your pastors, especially if it is a major decision or a church-affecting decision. They are called “shepherds” for a reason. I know of a brother who felt called to labor in another location, but as yet had no invitation to come. The pastors threw cold water on it. Six months later an invitation came and the pastors said, “Get going.” They had seen it would have been presumption earlier.
After all has been said, remember to ask God. “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5). Even Joshua once failed in this and got in a snare, “So the men of Israel took some of their provisions, and did not ask for the counsel of the Lord” (Joshua 9:14). Pray “lead us not into temptation” (Matthew 6:13).
How Much Weight Should Be Given To Counsel That Is Acquired From Another?
The main thing you must look for is a direct precept or some indirect principle from the word of God – “Your testimonies also are my delight; they are my counselors” (Psalm 119:24). At the Jerusalem council in Acts 15, why did James have the key answer? There was nothing wrong with what Paul or Peter said, but James had some Bible, a word from Amos on the matter. And, if you have a word from God, you had better stand on it. Remember the young man of God, a prophet (1 Kings 13). After executing some fearful dealings, he was clearly charged by God to get out immediately. The king could not persuade him to stay, but later an old prophet did. The young man was eaten by a lion. So, if you have a word from God, stand on it. Don’t let the most respected Christian tell you anything else. It would be deception. Be a Berean. Search the scriptures and see if what even an apostle says is so (Acts 17:11).
Some Warnings and Cautions Regarding Guidance and Acquiring Counsel
Make sure your decision lines up with the Bible. The will of God will line up with the word of God. I once planned to labor with a mission group. The night before I was to leave I called a brother to say farewell. We got to talking about matters of the sovereignty of God in salvation. Just before signing off, he quoted Titus 2:15, “These things speak and exhort and reprove with all authority. Let no one disregard you.” I was shocked. My faith drained out as when a cork is pulled in the bottom of a sink. I saw I would not be able to do what Paul said to Titus, for the mission group was not like-minded with me on this. It was an unequal yoke (2 Corinthians 6:14). I did not go and was glad.
Make sure you are not avoiding some light. God is light. Any cover-up is a real warning sign. Is there anyone you are not willing to talk to? Is there anything you are not willing to tell? If God is in it, you don’t have to fear that your agenda will be crossed. You don’t have to manipulate. You don’t have to make it easy for God to do it. Elijah didn’t. He poured water on the sacrifice. If you let God engineer it, then when the trials come, you can have some comfort and say, “Lord, this was your idea.”
It is a warning sign when someone is resisting or neglecting to talk to those in authority or those who would want to be included in the decision. For example, my son built picnic tables for sale. I made a deal with a retailer for the construction of many tables without asking my son who of course should have some say in it. It turned out to be much work and little profit. It was a grief.
Beware of decisions under pressure. God gives time to think it through. “And let the peace of God rule (act as arbiter) in your hearts” (Colossians 3:15). Dare I point out that General Lee did not wait for his reconnaissance man at Gettysburg and 28000 soldiers fell, as it is written, “Where there is no guidance the people fall.” (Proverbs 11:14).
Avoid making a decision when discouraged. The ‘so what’ attitude is not safe.
Does the decision make sense? Most of the time, the will of God is very sensible. There are good reasons to do this or that. In Titus it says the overseers are to be sensible, the older men sensible, the older women sensible, and the young men sensible. Spirituality is not foolish. Apparently it was this type of reasoning that caused Paul to say to Timothy, “Make every effort to come before winter” (2 Timothy 4:21).
What about random scripture ‘hits’? It is likely superstition and desperation. Why not make the decision in ‘good faith’ after gathering the input of specific Bible precepts or underlying Bible principles?
Are your own desires valid? Self-will is very dangerous. Self-will brought down Lucifer (Isaiah 14:13). Self-will is a mark of a false prophet (2 Peter 2:10). Self-will must be slain to follow Christ (Luke 9:23). But nevertheless, sanctified desires can be worthy – “Delight yourself also in the Lord; and He shall give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). Paul desired Apollos to go to Corinth, but Apollos’ desire ruled – “But concerning Apollos our brother, I encouraged him greatly to come to you with the brethren; and it was not at all his desire to come now, but he will come when he has opportunity” (1 Corinthians 16:12). It was that simple. Some things must be left in the category of what seems best – “Therefore when we could endure it no longer, we thought it best to be left behind at Athens alone” (1 Thessalonians 3:1). We don’t have a prayer time regarding putting our shoes on. We do it as we think it is best.
Providence is wonderful. Look for it, as did Abraham’s servant – “And she will say to me, ‘“You drink, and I will draw for your camels also’”; let her be the woman whom the Lord has appointed for my master's son” (Genesis 24:44). Also, the timing of the ram in the thicket on Mount Moriah was crucial (Genesis 22:13). Also, while it was not God’s will for Abraham to go down to Egypt, yet it was for Jacob. Providence forced it. They were hungry. Young Charles Spurgeon would have gone to Bible school, but the principal’s secretary forgot him sitting in the waiting room and so he left, concluding it was not God’s will. I was considering marriage, asking God again one morning if indeed I should ask my wife if she would be willing to consider marriage. I left the house to go to work and, lo, written in the frost on the car’s back window was, “Ask.” Well, such providences gave me a little more of the needed courage. Now, just because provisions are there, that does not necessarily prove anything. For example, Moses was out of the will of God in striking the rock, yet the water came. Jonah easily found a ship going to Tarshish and had the money to pay the fare, but it was not God’s will.
When all is said and done, we are yet ‘shipwrecked on God and stranded on Omnipotence’. We will have to simply trust the Lord and operate by faith (Proverbs 3:5). For example, after making a major decision I began to question it. I talked with everyone I could, till I was weary and others too. It led to ‘analysis paralysis’. I could barely enter a grocery store due to deep anxiety and double-mindedness. After months in a slough of vacillation, I found some helpful insight from a brother. He pointed out that I, by trying to gain absolute certainty on this decision, was unwittingly trying to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. But God was not going to give me exhaustive knowledge on it. I would have to go on by faith, trusting God with the whole course of my life. Raw faith was the only way out.
And we can trust the living God, our loving heavenly Father. He has done the greater – sending His Son to pay our sin debt – surely he will do the lesser (Romans 8:32). The Lord’s name is in fact Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6). He has promised that He will guide us with His eye (Psalm 32:8), and it is no small encouragement to a child when walking in danger to know that his father is watching. The Lord is our shepherd and he is guiding us in paths of righteousness. He is guiding us to a glorious heaven with Him, “With Your counsel You will guide me, and afterward receive me to glory” (Psalm 73:24). What have I to ask beside?